The Dating “Game”

Dear Still Dating Aged Emily,

I know you think that all guys suck right now. But it’s just the ones your dating. (kinda) You will find a winner who is perfect for you and one day, you’ll laugh at all the heartache and stress of dating. Until then here’s some advice:

Stop Getting So Upset. You are putting too much pressure on things that don’t matter. If he doesn’t text back, oh well. And stop staring at your phone, you will not will it to ring! If your first date is SO awkward, fine. It is what it is. You’re not going to have his babies, so kick back and enjoy the free drinks.

There is no such thing as the “game”. If you want to call him, call him. Don’t wait 3 days because it took him a week to call you. There are no rules. They are made up ideals on tvs shows and movies. The only thing you are doing is driving yourself crazy, which in turn is quiet possibly actually turning you crazy. So…

Stop being crazy. When you ask weird questions or get clingy too quick, you are freaking him out. He will run away screaming and you won’t understand why. Stop putting SO much pressure on an early relationship and HAVE FUN. Nothing is better than that new, exciting, first-few-dates phase and it doesn’t last forever.

Kiss him. Someone will tell you at one point “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince” and you will love that saying and take it to heart. No one every said a boy has to kiss you first. So, kiss him if you feel it and kiss a lot of “him’s” if you want to. But don’t be careless with your kisses. That’s how you hurt people and that’s how people hurt you.

Stop crying and being dramatic. That guy that broke up with you junior year? So what, you knew it wasn’t going anywhere and you just didn’t want to be alone. You end up liking being alone a LOT, especially compared to being a crappy relationship that was taking more than was giving. So, get over it.

Don’t settle. Don’t put up with good enough, smart enough, cute enough, strong enough, and supportive enough. You know what you deserve and anything less is just settling and you will be disappointed. Not only in them, but in yourself too.

Stop taking forever to get ready. Get over yourself. Guys don’t care that your friend curled your hair or that you bought a new shirt. They now just think your high maintenance and annoying.

Love your happily married counterpart,

Mrs. Austin

***********

Lauren Conrad and her friends really did a number on our generations dating ideals and opinions. Not every guy is worth crying over and not every guy is really a bad guy.

Sometimes, they’re just not right for you. And that’s ok. And sometimes you’re going to stay home from Paris to live with your crappy boyfriend at the beach for the summer to only break up afterwards and lose some street cred in the fashion industry. Am I right?

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I was with a friend recently who is frustrated with dating and was complaining about her love life. I tried to pass along my best advice, but she argued that I was wrong and that there really is a “game” to be played and rules to dating.

And it broke my heart.

I’ve found that when you stop looking for it, that’s when the right person finds you. When I met Johnny, I was dating two people. Scandal-less ;) Really, I’d gone on a few dates with each of these people and was just having fun, nothing serious. I always say it’s because I put myself out there, started having fun and stopped caring, and let myself be available, that Johnny and I connected.

And when I was dating, I haaaated hearing that. But it’s the truth. So, while I try to keep helping my friends who are still out playing the field, I hope someone else is able to take some advice from an old married lady to heart.

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